We tend to think of idleness and play as indulgences or distractions from what we should be doing…but low productivity pursuits can have some surprising benefits!

 Any of us can be accused of treating our relationship like a back-burner item.  We have eternal responsibility – demands of work, pay the mortgage, run kids to extracurricular activities – it can keep a person running 24/7.  It feels impossible to “steal time” for pure enjoyment or relaxation.

But studies have shown that downtime and self-renewing enjoyments can help us upgrade our overall levels of happiness and even boost our creativity and mental clarity.  What better ways to increase creativity, clarity, and happiness in your relationship than to spend some time with your spouse that is purely play time?!

Accumulated stress can spill over into all areas of our lives.  “Without renewal,” writes Stephen Covey, author of the famed The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, on his website “the body becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit insensitive, and the person selfish.”  So how do you bring playtime into everyday life with your spouse?

The act of daydreaming does some interesting things to your brain. There is an arch through the midline of the brain, according to Marcus Raichle, PhD, who published Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences showing a cluster of the brain that is affected by “downtime”.  This arch is the “default network” utilizing strong connections with parts of our brain involving decision-making, memories, and content with emotional significance to us. When you daydream, this default network leaps into action and makes sense of the occurrences, actions, feelings, all the bits that make up our crazy days. This heightened “processing” in the arch is the best way to invite ideas and solutions.  It can create the Eureka factor – sudden realization or insights.

So daydreaming, especially with your spouse, can be a fabulous way to relax, have fun, and allow your brain to produce a better brighter you!  Better for the relationship, better for the family, better for the job.

So don’t think of it as “working” on your relationship.  Solve two things at once – playtime with your spouse, and being a happier more creative individual!  Whether it is daydreaming together, taking a walk, or doing something together that is not targeted towards a result – in short, Monkey Business – you will just feel your brain working better after playtime, as well as experience a relaxed and enjoyable relationship moment.