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3 Challenges in the Relationship Olympics!

 Watching the Olympics’ is always uplifting – you see such dedication and persistence — Such commitment to a particular goal.  And teamwork that is unparalleled.  Sounds perfect for the Relationship Olympics…Take the Challenge!

Do these challenges sound familiar to you?

Challenge: Team members don’t build on each others’ strengths

Cost to your team… Lost opportunities for creative collaboration

 Challenge:  Individuals talk “at” each other without really connecting

Cost to your team… Frustration, stagnation, lost chance to improve

Challenge:   Multiple agendas compete

Cost to your team… Lack of synergy, focus, and progress

 Take those team challenges and create your own Relationship Olympics! And remind each other, before you start, that success will take persistence and teamwork and commitment to your goal.

Challenge 1: Spouses that don’t build on each others’ strengths….And the cost to the two of you? You guessed it – that creative collaboration could be a key component to a successful relationship!  Challenge your spouse to list off their greatest strength and what they see as your greatest strength. Then share your “strength” views of them and yourself.  This might be eye opening – and it might also give you a different way to look at the “building blocks” of your relationship.

 Or this could lead you to

 Challenge #2:  Couples talking “at” each other without really connecting…not hard to imagine the frustration, stagnation, and lost chances.

Both of you know the other one is not listening. Depending on the degree to which you can talk about it later, it might lead to a counseling session, or a decision to try a conversation with the ground rules.  Try the “you get 2 minutes” uninterrupted time to talk.  The response is based on “effective listening” rules – starting with – “what I think I hear you saying is…”  This can seem hard, but forcing a structure around a difficult conversation using effective listening can actually open you up to receive what you are saying to each other, instead of planning what you want to say next.

 Challenge 3:  You would think Olympic teams would have one goal, and not be plagued by multiple agendas.  But you might also say that about a couple.  And we know how multiple agendas pop up, at least in the day to day experience of life!  But just as it warns above – the cost from that lack of synergy and focus can really deplete your relationship. What do you do to rise above this challenge?

Well, the old “don’t go to bed angry isn’t a bad start! Any argument of separate agendas could be a good test.  You might need to step away and come back later, but together, write down what progress you would like to make on this issue.  Finding even a common goal of wanting to move forward to resolve it can shift the conversation.  Then you might need a refresher from Challenge 2 above!

At some point, all of us face one of these challenges. Instead of feeling frustration or anger, try thinking of it as a chance at the Relationship Olympics – something you can team up for, and using a few tools, you can both find Gold! 

 Build your Relationship to its Olympic Heights!!