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HOW TO FIND TRUE LOVE (When You Are Already Married)

November 4th, 2009 ·

Romantic Resources for Married Couples

You go to a personal trainer to make a commitment to exercise; you attend training seminars to improve your career.  But short of going to a marriage counselor, how do you climb the ladder of success with your spouse? How do you get a personalized plan to improve your marriage?


 The most direct method to success:

Spend some time thinking about it! This is a challenge to read on for five more minutes, and invest in your relationship future!  It’s a three step process.

 ONEGet rid of ho-hum date nights

 We’ve all done it.  Dinner and a Movie. And you discuss the kids and their latest antics of declaring war on the dog, resulting in tripping over toy soldiers in the stairwell.  We all want a change of pace for our date night. Sure it’s great to be alone, just the two of you, but the classic problem is —- you really HAVE forgotten how to talk to each other.  Would you consider a conversation game? Wait! Hold that thought – more to come! But make the choice to NOT have another ho-hum date night.  


TWO – Focus on each other

 Looking for deeper connections is something that makes sense, though you may never find yourselves actually saying it to each other.

  • But remember back to the last really interesting conversation you enjoyed –with anybody! 
  • Chances are whether it was a co-worker or a neighbor, you paid them the honor of focusing ONLY on them as they talked to you. 
  • It is not so easy for us to focus on each other after a long day at work, or cleaning up after the dog.
  • Yet, if you were brave, the first to bring it up, you could ask your spouse to try something new.

 SOMETHING NEW:  You’ll each have one thing you want to tell each other, and you’ll listen completely and totally while you divulge it. Listening, with full eye contact and no distractions. Maybe make a promise to keep it short for this first try! This could be a new kind of date night….

 THREE – Have Fun

 Yes, it probably sounds trite. You have heard it before. But there is something to having fun. It’s contagious. Plenty of articles have been written about how it takes you out of your day-to-day stress.  You’ve read them – admit it.   http://stress.about.com/od/positiveattitude/a/having_fun.htm  Those headlines catch your eye, because deep down you DO want to have fun again! 

  • But it can take some planning
  • A certain commitment that you will show up to have fun. Really be there
  • (Not the way you show up for those company training sessions, your mind on five other things)
  •  The kind of “show up” that makes you lose track of time – where you enter the flow of fun


 The three steps above are all do-able.

  • You could decide today to do it. It doesn’t even have to cost much.
  • It’s about intention…deciding to do something differently
  • Give it your full attention, with a little planning and some conversation.  And you will feel GREAT!

 However, if you don’t mind a little help (after all, we do accept personal trainers, and those HR session leaders), then consider a few aids to help you in your quest for TRUE LOVE with your spouse.  Try the Out of the Box Dates conversation cards. For only $4.99:  http://www.outoftheboxdates.com/more-shopping.php#cards.  You will learn something about each other! There are plenty of other games, too if you want to look for a way to add some fun to your Date Nights.  It’s all in your hands.    Take a chance–True Love waits!     true love

Tags: Date Night · Divorce Prevention · Marriage Enrichment · Romantic Adventures ·   · · · · · · ·


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